So Friendship week it is... Long gone are the days when we were excited about knowing how many friendship bands, and souvenirs and marker marks do we get.. Now we don't need these re-assurances or even phone calls on "The Friendship Day" to confirm or flag their presence. We know they will be there, even if they don't send us a friendship day text. (If they do, we do feel good. If they buy a friendship day gift, well well, we really feel special :P ). But now, it's not et all about this. It's all about giving each other space and knowing which things to take for granted. It's about the simple moments of togetherness we snatch from days altogether.
Right now, almost all of my friends are either busy with their new jobs, new universities, or their own final year projects and seminars. And the other few, with their start ups, big dreams, all-about-doing-something-hatke, and a few yet, drooling over their boyfriends /girlfriends and sorting their tantrums.
Whatever it is, all I am happy about and proud of is, people, though very much confused, are doing their best to do something for their future. No one wants to enjoy a back seat view (which. trust me, gets a hell lot taxing on me sometimes :P ). No one says, "I'm going to learn to cook well" For everyone its,"I'm going to become a Michelin-star chef." But what I am afraid about is, we dream of a future that is very different than our present. We'll live in New York instead of Mumbai, paint for living, be among the top most people and what not. But getting from here to there is hard. Not only because only a few of us fantasize about the efforts required, but also because, we all live in 'today'.
We only have limited energy and willpower to call on each day. If we've already spent it on a tough decision of deciding restaurant for dinner, we're not going to have enough oomph to get ourselves to a complete the chapter of quant or edit the article whose deadline is close approaching. We all run the risk of doing lots of little things every day—cleaning the house, chatting, catching up on TV—without ever making a contribution to our future. That can leave us feeling restless and unfulfilled (from experience >:O ) It's the big picture things that gives life a meaning.But it's in our nature, for example, to spend our energy doing "today- things" like, projects and labs, and meanwhile hold a distorted perception of being the most successful business person. Even if we're future-focused, to keep chasing after what may turn out to be the wrong destiny.
Not every girl spends her life pursuing her childhood dream of being the next Kalpana Chawla.The dreams you have today may no longer be your goals two, three, or five years from now. Even if they are, the progress you're making toward them today may not satisfy you in the future.But not many stop to think about it. We stick with our goals even when we have no motivation. We are hardwired to persist. We don't like to quit, and we believe that there's shame in gaining a reputation as someone prone to giving up. It's due to this, that people stay in situations or relationships that have stopped making them happy.
It's easy to fall prey to the sunk-cost fallacy—that you've already put so much time, money, or effort into a goal that it would be a waste to stop pursuing it now. But the energy and money you've put in are gone forever. There should be a point, wherein your concern should be whether untapped talents will also go waste? They say, "Part of the wisdom of moving forward is to know when a goal either has become outdated in terms of your own wants and needs or can't be achieved." Sometimes, quitting is necessary and beneficial.
But then, there's also a catch. Too often, we give up just when we need to push harder. I think all we can do is give ourselves enough time to accomplish our goals. But the 'enough' should be practical. ;)
I think it's all about finding a balance between what really matters to us and the goals we chase.But too often our future plans are overly influenced by other's input—the best friend who begs you to join her start-up or the father who desperately wants u to do an MBA. These external factors can take us away from our core values. But you can't manage everything in your environment—sometimes those emails simply must be answered—but you can control some external factors to set yourself up for success. New constructive habits to take you out of routines you've been following for years, could be the one. You can break your plans into actions you can do every day so that you don't lose the sight of what you want to achieve. If you don't work on it a little bit every few days, you're probably going to lose it. Getting out of your comfort zone is the key. Joining a community of like-minded individuals can help, too.
Right now, almost all of my friends are either busy with their new jobs, new universities, or their own final year projects and seminars. And the other few, with their start ups, big dreams, all-about-doing-something-hatke, and a few yet, drooling over their boyfriends /girlfriends and sorting their tantrums.
Whatever it is, all I am happy about and proud of is, people, though very much confused, are doing their best to do something for their future. No one wants to enjoy a back seat view (which. trust me, gets a hell lot taxing on me sometimes :P ). No one says, "I'm going to learn to cook well" For everyone its,"I'm going to become a Michelin-star chef." But what I am afraid about is, we dream of a future that is very different than our present. We'll live in New York instead of Mumbai, paint for living, be among the top most people and what not. But getting from here to there is hard. Not only because only a few of us fantasize about the efforts required, but also because, we all live in 'today'.
We only have limited energy and willpower to call on each day. If we've already spent it on a tough decision of deciding restaurant for dinner, we're not going to have enough oomph to get ourselves to a complete the chapter of quant or edit the article whose deadline is close approaching. We all run the risk of doing lots of little things every day—cleaning the house, chatting, catching up on TV—without ever making a contribution to our future. That can leave us feeling restless and unfulfilled (from experience >:O ) It's the big picture things that gives life a meaning.But it's in our nature, for example, to spend our energy doing "today- things" like, projects and labs, and meanwhile hold a distorted perception of being the most successful business person. Even if we're future-focused, to keep chasing after what may turn out to be the wrong destiny.
Not every girl spends her life pursuing her childhood dream of being the next Kalpana Chawla.The dreams you have today may no longer be your goals two, three, or five years from now. Even if they are, the progress you're making toward them today may not satisfy you in the future.But not many stop to think about it. We stick with our goals even when we have no motivation. We are hardwired to persist. We don't like to quit, and we believe that there's shame in gaining a reputation as someone prone to giving up. It's due to this, that people stay in situations or relationships that have stopped making them happy.
It's easy to fall prey to the sunk-cost fallacy—that you've already put so much time, money, or effort into a goal that it would be a waste to stop pursuing it now. But the energy and money you've put in are gone forever. There should be a point, wherein your concern should be whether untapped talents will also go waste? They say, "Part of the wisdom of moving forward is to know when a goal either has become outdated in terms of your own wants and needs or can't be achieved." Sometimes, quitting is necessary and beneficial.
But then, there's also a catch. Too often, we give up just when we need to push harder. I think all we can do is give ourselves enough time to accomplish our goals. But the 'enough' should be practical. ;)
I think it's all about finding a balance between what really matters to us and the goals we chase.But too often our future plans are overly influenced by other's input—the best friend who begs you to join her start-up or the father who desperately wants u to do an MBA. These external factors can take us away from our core values. But you can't manage everything in your environment—sometimes those emails simply must be answered—but you can control some external factors to set yourself up for success. New constructive habits to take you out of routines you've been following for years, could be the one. You can break your plans into actions you can do every day so that you don't lose the sight of what you want to achieve. If you don't work on it a little bit every few days, you're probably going to lose it. Getting out of your comfort zone is the key. Joining a community of like-minded individuals can help, too.
Well, well it seems the Psychology Today has rubbed itself on me quite too hard.. :P It's getting too goal and success and blah blah. So I take a halt here. But whatever it is, I love writing anything and everything here. And I guess, this is the reason I always end up writing about something else than planned. I don't need to think, re-think, edit, re-edit before posting it here. :D Anyway I won't take any long and hopefully for the next time, will be back with something interesting :P Till then,please keep on sending the love, views, suggestions, queries and criticisms on sharayuchaudhari@gmail.com. Anything you wish to share just mail it to me. You won't be judged ;)
PS_ - This is not the article I was talking about a few days earlier. You will still have to wait. (If it doesn't make any sense to you, kindly ignore :P :) )
PS_ - This is not the article I was talking about a few days earlier. You will still have to wait. (If it doesn't make any sense to you, kindly ignore :P :) )
