What am I doing..

 What am I doing,
waiting for you,
to remember me...

Just so I remember
how I breathe..

What am I doing, 
waiting for you
to ask about my day...

Just so I can tell you something,
and make you smile,
feel something maybe...

What am I doing, 
waiting for you,
to get to know me...

Just so I know, 
that I am not just a nobody,
I am somebody you know...

Someone you are familiar with,
someone whose whims & tantrums
you can predict... 

What am I doing, 
waiting for you...
Especially when I am not sure,
what this is to you...

What am I doing,
I was someone 
who didn't need any rescuing...
who fought her own battles...

But now I am in the battleground,
I probably created...
waiting for you to forfeit,
a war you probably never wanted to fight...

What am I doing, 
waiting for you... !

All consuming fire!

I see you, 
But I am drawn towards you,
like the cliched moth to a flame..

And I would be damned if I knew why,
It's just so unexpected, 
Wasn't really a part of the plan,
you know...

Afraid I might burn myself,
Because I feel my heart skip a bit,
every time you look at me a second too long..
Every time that damn smiley appears in my chatbox..

And I am afraid you don't feel that, 
You don't miss my arms,
when it's raining outside,
or when it gets too overwhelming...

I miss you
like the summer misses the rains...

I want you here,
by my side,
Almost every day...

And I am afraid,
It isn't the same for you...
My breath was ragged, 
and my voice hoarse,
when you held my hand that day...
I had to blink it away 
before I realised what was happening....

And I am genuinely afraid,
of the power that simple gesture held over me,
And moreover,
that it was just a move for you,
or an instinct.. 
Totally unrelated to me...

I am drawn to you, 
like a moth to a flame,
but oh,
how lovely would it be,
for once,
for the moth to live on without burning, 

To be drawn to the warmth of the flame, 
And not the all-consuming fire!