At the place to B,.. 1 !!

Hey folks... So wanna know how's life around in this particular piece of land ? Frankly, I don't know.. Since last few days, I have been asked that a lot many times- How's this particular institute treating you ? How are the people there ? And nothing has put me in a fix more than these questions.. I mean, I love this place, the people around me are really nice and the best of the lot. I get to interact with the most distinguished personalities, I have a hell lot of work that keeps me awake well past midnight.. And mind you, it's some real interesting stuff. There are best of facilities around here. Except a little tiny problem.

Whenever I say this, I don't feel happy, excited.. It's like something has clouded it up in just 10 days here. There's no enthusiasm.. I wasn't the kind of the girl who would take a back foot when it comes to fests, events.. Even if I don't have any assigned profile, I remember roaming around, helping wherever I could.. Now, there's a fest prep going on around me, just as I sit and type these words. Not like I wasn't involved, I did a few its and bits, but I know, I can do a lot better. You would probably say, "Hey look, you are making a big deal out of this.Sometimes its okay to take a back seat. And the place you are in, everyone wants to lead.. Some subtly, some openly.. Understand that.." I agree, yet something's amiss.. It's been my dream to "study" here, and I have barely showed any enthusiasm in going through the lessons, assignments.. (Well, maybe probably because I got a plethora of those even before my first day.. :P) But it's like I have no drive to do so.. I am surprised at myself for that though..

I know it will pass.. After all, it's me we are talking about.. ;) What's surprising is, how strongly can one resist change, even when a part of them knows that the crossroads they are on, change is inevitable. Funnily, we all knew what we were signing for.. I knew I wouldn't be the same person after 20 months.. Still, I am not that completely up for the game. Who wouldn't like the idea of wrapping oneself in the blanket of security, simplicity and smugness of worldly beliefs of you, societial ideas, sitting indoors, enjoying the view. But there's a part in everyone of us here, who is struggling to prove it, to use the opportunity we have got.. And that's something that would keep me away from that blanket.. I think, this is the single most distinguishing quality of any elite environment.

There have been many great speakers here in last few days, and listening to their expectations of us, has scared me. It's like, I don't want to miss out on the potential I have, and yet not acknowledge the choices I may make, I am making. Because, they have made me realise, it's going to take a lot of sweat... And I am a damn lazy person. Maybe, I believed that this IIM B engraving will be etched as painlessly, as effortlessly as a scratch sticker. But I missed out that it won't come off as easy as that, it's a tattoo. There's this undergrad part of me, wanting to study only before exams.. And there's this B school part of me wanting to be the best prepared for every damn class.. :P Struggle's on.. :D

Maybe some swirling and sipping this weekend in this awesome weather with a few of my buddies will help my nerves calm down, reduce the overwhelmingness I feel.. :P If that doesn't help, there are my idiots back home,.. Will catch up with them.. :D Funnily, all I want myself to realise that there's always a choice you have,, And it ALWAYS is your call..  I envy the ones who somehow have it running through their veins already..:P

Right now, got to prepare 2 whole cases. So, tadah.. Will keep on updating you guys.. Till en, for anything and everything, drop a mail at sharayuchaudhari@gmail.com

Farewell Idiots.. :*

So folks, I am officially the worst good bye sayer now... :/ I had planned since weeks about how I will bid adieu to all my idiots, and what happened when the time came.. I just barely hugged them and said "Bubye, milte rehna... Skype karenge.." I couldn't even say take care.. :/ My epic dialogues didn't see the light of the day, even though technically I had 2 chances to say em.. Gone are the words of love, support, taunts and hella other emotions that should have been spoken, with 8/6/2016.

First things first, I am going to IIM, Bangalore.. Yeah.. Wohhooo... I know right.. But along with the fun, excitement, fear, there's also a bit of sadness lingering, for now I would have to leave my old friends, old way of life.. Now there won't be an established, comfortable group of mine, who no matter how much stupid and weird I get, would pamper me, love me, support me and most importantly, believe in me. The change is good, people dream of it and now I have got a chance. A chance to improve my life, a chance to make my friends and family proud, a chance to better the society I live in.. But somehow, I am afraid, I am not ready for this change..

Afterall, who am I ? A fresher, who hasn't even yet graduated; what is she gonna understand about the ethics, norms of corporate world, about economics, finance, marketing and sales.. A daughter, who was shielded from every problem by her parents; how is she gonna survive in this cut throat world, where she has to make on her own; A girl, who had somehow collected the best of friends, peers around her, who loved her, fought for her, corrected her, helped her stand up, how is she gonna face the world alone now ??

But then, as they say, no one can ever be completely prepared for something. And deep down, in my gut, I know this is the path I should lead. All this - clearing CAT, preparing for interviews, the wait, securing admission to "THE" institute, packing stuff, wrapping up relations- has changed me. I have began to see the amount of seriousness people live their lives with, amount of things I don't know, variety of people out there, their talents, sheer determination, will, perseverance.. It has enlightened me, humbled me and given me a different kind of motivation, strength that does not, can not come from within, nor can it come from your friends & family. This is something that leads you on, that doesn't get extinguished easily..  Also, I have seen some phases of people.. Unexpected joy, unexpected envy, and a whole bunch of other unexpectednesses.. :P

As much as lucky and nice this phase was for me, many of my friends were dealing with the dreading issues of their own. In spite of that, they overindulged me, they were proud of me, AND they made sure I knew it. This is something only a few people get to experience. It wasn't a single fb post, it wasn't a gift.. It was their whole demeanour.. I never felt as blessed as I have in these times, to have such people around me.. I remember people having tears of their own grief and smile of my achievement while congratulating me.. We all had the same goals at a point of time, but unfortunately, I don't suppose fate allows all the devils to work together.. :P

Well, they will catch up soon.. Life doesn't stop.. Nor will it now when I so desperately want to spend some time with my brother, parents, friends.. So all we can do is look forward to what's definitely coming our way.. make our decisions.. start trod-ding down the path we have set for ourselves.. There will be setbacks, there will be times when you won't understand what to do, what's going on.. Why is it happening, why are you doing what you are doing.. Will the efforts be worth it, will it do anybody any good.. No matter, at what point of life you are on, these questions come to haunt you.. I have learnt to either avoid them and continue doing what I was going to do.. or listen to my heart.. A voice that stays within all of us.. Trust me, it knows what's best for you..

And right now, it's asking me to sleep.. :P So, it's gonna be new life, new rules, new targets, new friends, new masala (hopefully.. :P ) and the old me with my old world. Let's see how that one works out.. Will keep you updated..

For anything and everything, mail me on sharayuchaudhari@gmail.com