Thursday 23 June 2016

At the place to B,.. 1 !!

Hey folks... So wanna know how's life around in this particular piece of land ? Frankly, I don't know.. Since last few days, I have been asked that a lot many times- How's this particular institute treating you ? How are the people there ? And nothing has put me in a fix more than these questions.. I mean, I love this place, the people around me are really nice and the best of the lot. I get to interact with the most distinguished personalities, I have a hell lot of work that keeps me awake well past midnight.. And mind you, it's some real interesting stuff. There are best of facilities around here. Except a little tiny problem.

Whenever I say this, I don't feel happy, excited.. It's like something has clouded it up in just 10 days here. There's no enthusiasm.. I wasn't the kind of the girl who would take a back foot when it comes to fests, events.. Even if I don't have any assigned profile, I remember roaming around, helping wherever I could.. Now, there's a fest prep going on around me, just as I sit and type these words. Not like I wasn't involved, I did a few its and bits, but I know, I can do a lot better. You would probably say, "Hey look, you are making a big deal out of this.Sometimes its okay to take a back seat. And the place you are in, everyone wants to lead.. Some subtly, some openly.. Understand that.." I agree, yet something's amiss.. It's been my dream to "study" here, and I have barely showed any enthusiasm in going through the lessons, assignments.. (Well, maybe probably because I got a plethora of those even before my first day.. :P) But it's like I have no drive to do so.. I am surprised at myself for that though..

I know it will pass.. After all, it's me we are talking about.. ;) What's surprising is, how strongly can one resist change, even when a part of them knows that the crossroads they are on, change is inevitable. Funnily, we all knew what we were signing for.. I knew I wouldn't be the same person after 20 months.. Still, I am not that completely up for the game. Who wouldn't like the idea of wrapping oneself in the blanket of security, simplicity and smugness of worldly beliefs of you, societial ideas, sitting indoors, enjoying the view. But there's a part in everyone of us here, who is struggling to prove it, to use the opportunity we have got.. And that's something that would keep me away from that blanket.. I think, this is the single most distinguishing quality of any elite environment.

There have been many great speakers here in last few days, and listening to their expectations of us, has scared me. It's like, I don't want to miss out on the potential I have, and yet not acknowledge the choices I may make, I am making. Because, they have made me realise, it's going to take a lot of sweat... And I am a damn lazy person. Maybe, I believed that this IIM B engraving will be etched as painlessly, as effortlessly as a scratch sticker. But I missed out that it won't come off as easy as that, it's a tattoo. There's this undergrad part of me, wanting to study only before exams.. And there's this B school part of me wanting to be the best prepared for every damn class.. :P Struggle's on.. :D

Maybe some swirling and sipping this weekend in this awesome weather with a few of my buddies will help my nerves calm down, reduce the overwhelmingness I feel.. :P If that doesn't help, there are my idiots back home,.. Will catch up with them.. :D Funnily, all I want myself to realise that there's always a choice you have,, And it ALWAYS is your call..  I envy the ones who somehow have it running through their veins already..:P

Right now, got to prepare 2 whole cases. So, tadah.. Will keep on updating you guys.. Till en, for anything and everything, drop a mail at sharayuchaudhari@gmail.com

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