Everybody my age, have had their crushes, have had their hearts broken, have felt the pain one feels when someone's carving something on your chest with a knife with your mouth being held shut, everybody feels no one can love others as deeply as they do, everybody thinks they are more passionate and serious than others, but everybody can't be so now, can they be?
That's part and parcel of growing up, why make a big deal out of it? You like some person, the other person either likes you back in the same way or they don't. Why break yourself if they don't like you back; do you think one would be happy if only one person likes the other in a relationship? If you genuinely like someone, you can be with that someone, even if there are some boundaries for physical intimacy, afterall love isn't all about it now, is it? And isn't all you crave for is to be with that person somehow. Our generation has done a really good job of re-defining friendships, and it's not at all bad or demeaning to show that you care, to show how much the other person means to you, even if you are not dating. But two things- don't go overboard and spoil it all; don't expect anything when you are doing this- it's not a way to make the person fall for you, it's just a way to respect our feelings and of the person in front. On the other hand, when somebody says they like you, you just can't and shouldn't shut off. Respect the feelings of the other person, and realize, not everything that they do is to win you back, or because they like you. There are some things that good friends would do for good friends.
And if the person likes you back in the same way, either you can be together, or you can't be. If you can't be, see if the person is comfortable talking about why, and if it is fixable. If it's not, its not. You have to understand, all you will ever be, is friends, or maybe something better than friends, but you will never be quite "there." And on the other hand, if you are together, I am the happiest person on earth for you guys, only because it's rare.. :D
Every one of us needs someone. Even Harvey needs a Jessica & a Donna. So it's okay to want to be with someone, to just like someone or be impressed with someone a bit too much. But it's not okay to allow your every action, your whole life to revolve around it. I know it hurts, I know its not easy, but that is so, only because you allow it to be so. And with emotions & moods given such a high priority nowadays, it's necessary that we get a little mature about this too. We recently introduced sex education in the curriculum because the rights & wrongs about it don't come as naturally as it used to for our ancestors, so it is about relationships. And not only about romantic ones, but about all our relations. We all need somebody to come and sympathise, to come and advise; to feel sorry for us, to make things right. But really, in a lifetime of 70-80 years, you have what, around 10 heart breaks (or definitely more) and you feel each one was more intense than the last. Agreed, the emotions may have been deeper, but hasn't your understanding and maturity grown with age? Even at 28 years of age, will you still handle heart break as you did when you were 16 ?
I know what many of you will think, I haven't loved anyone yet ? or it's easy to just say it. But nobody said life was going to be easy. It's just a way to make it less miserable. I feel so, and I think it's much better a way than many of the routes people take. It doesn't harm your body, it doesn't darken your soul, it just requires a larger piece of your will power and it makes you a stronger and a better person. Any other take on this is welcome, I am not a guru here. These are my opinions and I welcome other opinions as well. Feel free to write them to me on sharayuchaudhari@gmail.com
And all I hope for, is you all find what you are really looking for. Trust me, that's not a person, but a set of qualities. And there are many people who share the same set of qualities. This person didn't wait for you, it didn't work out- then you wait, because there are others.
That's part and parcel of growing up, why make a big deal out of it? You like some person, the other person either likes you back in the same way or they don't. Why break yourself if they don't like you back; do you think one would be happy if only one person likes the other in a relationship? If you genuinely like someone, you can be with that someone, even if there are some boundaries for physical intimacy, afterall love isn't all about it now, is it? And isn't all you crave for is to be with that person somehow. Our generation has done a really good job of re-defining friendships, and it's not at all bad or demeaning to show that you care, to show how much the other person means to you, even if you are not dating. But two things- don't go overboard and spoil it all; don't expect anything when you are doing this- it's not a way to make the person fall for you, it's just a way to respect our feelings and of the person in front. On the other hand, when somebody says they like you, you just can't and shouldn't shut off. Respect the feelings of the other person, and realize, not everything that they do is to win you back, or because they like you. There are some things that good friends would do for good friends.
And if the person likes you back in the same way, either you can be together, or you can't be. If you can't be, see if the person is comfortable talking about why, and if it is fixable. If it's not, its not. You have to understand, all you will ever be, is friends, or maybe something better than friends, but you will never be quite "there." And on the other hand, if you are together, I am the happiest person on earth for you guys, only because it's rare.. :D
Every one of us needs someone. Even Harvey needs a Jessica & a Donna. So it's okay to want to be with someone, to just like someone or be impressed with someone a bit too much. But it's not okay to allow your every action, your whole life to revolve around it. I know it hurts, I know its not easy, but that is so, only because you allow it to be so. And with emotions & moods given such a high priority nowadays, it's necessary that we get a little mature about this too. We recently introduced sex education in the curriculum because the rights & wrongs about it don't come as naturally as it used to for our ancestors, so it is about relationships. And not only about romantic ones, but about all our relations. We all need somebody to come and sympathise, to come and advise; to feel sorry for us, to make things right. But really, in a lifetime of 70-80 years, you have what, around 10 heart breaks (or definitely more) and you feel each one was more intense than the last. Agreed, the emotions may have been deeper, but hasn't your understanding and maturity grown with age? Even at 28 years of age, will you still handle heart break as you did when you were 16 ?
I know what many of you will think, I haven't loved anyone yet ? or it's easy to just say it. But nobody said life was going to be easy. It's just a way to make it less miserable. I feel so, and I think it's much better a way than many of the routes people take. It doesn't harm your body, it doesn't darken your soul, it just requires a larger piece of your will power and it makes you a stronger and a better person. Any other take on this is welcome, I am not a guru here. These are my opinions and I welcome other opinions as well. Feel free to write them to me on sharayuchaudhari@gmail.com
And all I hope for, is you all find what you are really looking for. Trust me, that's not a person, but a set of qualities. And there are many people who share the same set of qualities. This person didn't wait for you, it didn't work out- then you wait, because there are others.
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